A Change of Plans

Today my plans for getting back to normal came to a screetching halt.

I have been feeling really dragged out all week, not at all myself. So I was anxious to meet with the doctor today and see if we could get to the bottom of things.

I was very surprised to hear that my white blood cell and platelet counts are very low (in fact it's as if I was still on chemo). This is quite alarming and was completely unexpected. It appears that I could be having a very rare reaction to the Tamoxifen which I take on a daily basis.

My doctor consulted her handy dandy computer info and apparently it is an uncommon side effect from the Tamoxifen.

So instead of spending this visit talking about going back to work, we talked about next steps.

At this point, I have been taken off the Tamoxifen and will have to wait for another 9 weeks to have my blood tests taken again. If it is indeed the cause of the drop in white blood cells and platelets, then I will have some other decisions to make.

The reason that I am on the Tamoxifen is because my tumour tested positive for estrogen and progesterone. The Tamoxifen keeps your hormone levels low so there isn't a chance for any potential cancer cells to grow. It is very important that I am on this drug. It decreases my risk of the cancer returning by 40%.

If it turns out that the Tamoxifen has caused this reaction I obviously cannot go back on it. I am unable to take any of the Aromatase inhibitors because I am not yet in menopause. So there is a chance that I will have to have my ovaries removed.

At this point, I don't know what other options I may have in front of me. The information I received today was so unexpected and overwhelming, I'm just trying to soak it all in.

Needless to say I was devastated. I've been waiting for today's visit for so long to talk about my return to work plan and then I get hit with this news. I know that it's beyond my control, but I feel that I have let Western down. They were all counting on me and my promises that I'd be back in May. I am so disappointed. But everyone at Western has been so supportive and has encouraged me to take care of myself first...and I thank them for that.

I am also very afraid. Of course, the first thing that goes through your mind is that "the cancer is back". I did ask if this was possible, but the doctor didn't think that was the case. She figured it was about a 90% chance that it was this rare reaction to the Tamoxifen.

My doctor has also referred me to a Haematologist so they can test my bone marrow and see if there is anything odd going on there. She feels, however, that by the time I end up getting that appointment we likely will already have sorted out that the cause is from the Tamoxifen.

So I guess I just get up, dust myself off and continue forward. My appointment on June 1st should bring some news about what the next steps are.

In the meantime, my doctor has asked me to hold off on back to work plans until the situation is sorted out.

It's been an exhausting day, so I'm going to get some sleep now.

Nighty, night.

Love CJ

San Francisco, Baby!

As many of you know, our little family is heading to San Francisco to visit Nancy & Tom next Tuesday. We are all very excited. Sydney keeps asking "Are we going today?". So cute.

I must mention that this trip was made possible through our generous friends (extended family, really - they are Sydney's godparents), Nancy & Tom. When I was first diagnosed they offered to "sponsor" our trip so we would have something to look forward to at the end of all of the treatments. It's been a great motivator to know that this was waiting for us "at the end of the tunnel." Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am also so happy for Sean. If anyone deserves this break, it's him. Sean was the one who had to live with me everyday (the good and the bad), continue to work (with no vacation), pick up the slack around the house and step in as Daddy when Mommy just couldn't do it. He is my rock. I love you Pookie!

I don't mean to diminish the support that we have received from our immediate family and friends. We couldn't have done it without our entire support system. It will just be so great to get away and forget about cancer for week.

I meet with my doctor on Friday to talk about my back to work plan. More details to follow once confirmed.

Love CJ

First Haircut

I got together for coffee with my hairdresser, Silvia, today. It's been such a long time since we've caught up with each other.

When we got back to her salon, she offered to touch up my hair. So today I can say that I had my first official haircut since Sean shaved my head in August! There wasn't much to cut, mostly around the ears, but somehow she can make even this short hair into some sort of a hairstyle.

Silvia also gave me a fabulous shampoo and scalp massage. It's been so long I'd forgotten how great that feels! She does spoil me, because she would even let me pay.

Once again, if you're looking for a new hairdresser, give Silvia Santos a call at Tha Salon (519-640-6957).

Thanks, Silvia. You're the best.

Love CJ

Illness #3

Within the last 6 weeks poor Sydney has been afflicted with 3 illnesses. First impetigo, then a dose of strep throat, today......roseola infantum.

So far the roseola seems to be the least bothersome of the three. Roseola infantum is viral and starts with a high fever out of the blue. The fever is then followed-up with a lovely rash on the face and body. The good news is that now the rash has appeared she is no longer contagious.

Sean and Mom ended up with a bad cold from taking care of Sydney and I last week and this week, but hopefully we're all on the upswing now.

I didn't hear anything back in regards to the chest x-ray, so I guess no news is good news.

Love CJ

Quick Update

I was able to get in for my Herceptin infusion yesterday. I guess they needed to get me in as soon as possible, or they would have to start over with the loading dose again. I just needed to be on my antibiotics for more than 24 hours so I was no longer contagious.

I also went in for my chest x-ray yesterday. Again, I'm not expecting to hear anything back (results coming in on Wednesday). The antibiotics are doing their thing, so it's definitely bronchitis.

Better safe than sorry though.

CJ

'Tis the Season of Sickness - Part 2

Now that Sydney is on the mend, it's time for Mommy to get sick. I went to the doctor yesterday with a bad cough and apparently I have bronchitis.

I am on some heavy duty antibiotics and codeine cough syrup to keep the coughing at bay. Last night a fever started up so I added some ibuprofen to the mix. If I've learned anything over the last 10 months, I've learned that drugs are our friends!

I had to cancel my Herceptin appointment for today because of the bronchitis. I surely didn't want to infect anyone in the chemo suite. Hopefully it will be rescheduled for sometime next week.

I am lucky because my family doctor is married to my oncologist. Dr. Warsh called me today to check on my cough. He mentioned that Dr. Potvin reminded him that the Herceptin treatments can cause lung inflammation so just to be sure I have to go in for a chest x-ray.

I am hopeful that it's just bronchitis, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Such is the life of a cancer survivor. There's always something else to consider.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Love CJ

That Time of Year

'Tis the season of sickness. Sydney is at home with me again this week with a case of strep throat (which the doctor is to confirm today). Her throat is very raw and sore and she's not eating much. We've been spending some quality time together.

Mom has been a big help because I get tired so easily. She comes over and watches Sydney while I have a nap each day. Miss Sydney decided yesterday that she wouldn't nap at all. I guess she doesn't yet understand that nap time is really Mommy time! Ha, ha.

The radiation burns have finally subsided in the last 2 days. Thank heavens. I was beginning to think they would never get better. The skin is still very tender but much more bearable.

I can see how they say you should have at least one week of rest per week of radiation (that's 6 for me). It's taken over 2 weeks for the burns to heal and I'm still very tired. Having Sydney home has shown me that I'm not even close to being ready to handling a full workload yet. I guess this will come in time.

Stay safe in this weather everyone!

Love CJ